Category: Understanding Ourselves

Follow Your Heart? But How? – The Kairos Approach

How often have you heard “Follow Your Heart”? How often have you thought “OK, but how?!!” You may have heard a version that says “Follow Your Heart but Take Your Head With You”. I believe that this is more useful

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Can someone really ‘make you feel’ bad?

Someone says some harsh words to me. Immediately, I feel bad. The causal link seems so easy to see – they ‘made me feel’ bad. But is it really that simple? I go to see my family and they are

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Looking more closely at ‘Can’t’

Let’s suppose I’m really scared about that presentation at the team meeting. When discussing my difficulties with making the presentation it’s tempting to say “I can’t do it, I just can’t…” My performance at the meeting may be a source of

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Beginning to Talk about Feelings

Feelings are natural reactions. Just like hunger or thirst, if we didn’t need them our bodies wouldn’t do all the physical/hormonal parts so effectively, consistently or universally. Like hunger or thirst, our feelings are offering us information. Think of this

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Depression – a very personal weight

What happened to your old energy? The energy that moved you through the day. The energy that made things easy, and stopped things ‘just piling up’.  What happened to the days that left you with an appetite, the days which

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Feelings in our Early Family

Some authentic feelings may have been forbidden in early family life. Other feelings (or ‘Racket Feelings’) may have been allowed as replacements for the ones that weren’t allowed. Some feelings were forbidden In family situations it is likely that expressing

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Saving ‘Feelings’ Stamps

Are you old enough to remember Green Shield stamps or Coop stamps? Each time we made a purchase in a certain shop, we were given a sticky stamp to stick in a savings book. When the book was full of

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The River of Feelings

This is an idea borrowed from Buddhism with a little help from Transactional Analysis. Imagine standing by a river which is flowing from left to right. On the left, feelings arise and come to the water’s surface, they flow past

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Take the ‘Feelings 101’

Would you like to understand your feelings better? Perhaps you have questions like; Why do I always end up feeling this way? Why won’t this feeling just ‘go away’? Why should I feel like this now? I’ve been it some

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Authentic Feelings – a great source of information

Why have feelings? What’s the point? Feelings are natural reactions to real situations. They have a physical and a psychological impact. They are useful because they give us information about the situation we are it. Not having feelings would be

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